The wisest words ever spoken about Valentine's Day: "May the odds be ever in your favor." Or maybe that was The Hunger Games? Either way, a death match and the annual love fest can occasionally be one in the same. It's all about survival. And the heat is on.
Couples wonder if the fire is gone – and singles are still stuck in the Stone Age. This year, if you're spending the holiday stag or "booed up," we've got your guide to creating a vivacious Valentine's Day.
We hate to break your heart, but that blasé dinner and a movie just ain't gonna cut it this year. Valentine's Day falls on a Friday, which means you've got the whole weekend to prove "how deep is your love"-you can thank the Bee Gees for that.
Here are some ways to spend the holiday reigniting your flame.
Need a spark of stimulation? The Dirty Show 15 is your date-night equivalent of an erotic romp. The show, held every Valentine's weekend, features erotic art exhibitions, burlesque performances and other sexuality-driven fanfare that could put desire back into the dullest of relationships. If not, you may want to check your pulse.
- When: Times vary, Feb. 7-9 and 14-15
- Where: Russell Industrial Center, 1600 Clay St., Detroit. 800-838-3006
- Cost: $26.87
You don't have to fight over who gets the first back rub; a couples massage is about being pampered as a pair. At the MotorCity Casino Hotel's D.Tour Spa, we recommend the Couples Body Suite, featuring a body scrub, a private soak and the rejuvenating Urban Escape Facial.
- Where: D.Tour Spa at MotorCity Casino, 2901 Grand River Ave., Detroit. 313-309-4595
- Cost: $495 per couple/two hours
If you feel like you and your mate are at the height of your sexiness, capture the moment with a sensual photo shoot at The Boudoir Loft.
"The shoots are classy and discrete," says photographer Kimberly Williams. "It's not porn. It's just beautiful, elegant lingerie shots. Some couples do jeans and a T-shirt. Just real hot pictures."
Boudoir offers airbrushing services, hair and makeup and posing tutorials as part of several packages.
- Where: Shoot location at the Lofts on 9, 211 E. Nine Mile Road, Ferndale. 248-462-3684 (call in advance)
- Cost: $500 for couples package; includes one change, 20 finished edits, a slideshow with all edits available, high-resolution downloads
Take your love to new heights with the Mile High Club – Traverse City! But bring your own sheets if you're picky, pilot Scott Conaway recommends.
"It's very comical. If the girl is surprising the guy, there's never been an issue," says Conaway. "If the guy is surprising the girl, that doesn't always work out so well. It really impresses me that after 20 years of marriage, some are getting surprised with a Mile High Club (flight)."
Bring champagne and toast to your love while you are high in the sky. And if you happen to get "lucky," you receive a Mile High Club certificate to commemorate the occasion.
- Where: Flight leaves from the Cherry Capital Airport, 727 Fly Don't Drive, Traverse City; email pilot Scott Conaway direct at firstname.lastname@example.org
- Cost: $390 per couple; includes a certificate of Exclusive Membership to commemorate the event
Love is in the air-but turns pollutant around Valentine's Day when you are single. It can surely be slim pickings when browsing activities for one on the holiday weekend. But just because you don't have a beau doesn't mean you can't beat the single blues.
Here are a few entertaining ways to get you through the Valentine's weekend, alone.
Chicago is your pipeline to a fresh perspective on nightlife and entertainment. Plus, the city has a whole population of other single people just waiting to be discovered. Stay in the thick of the action at theWit Chicago.
Inspired by the book Wit, this trendy spot is a "witty" take on the hotel experience and features famous and infamous quotes sprinkled throughout its rooms for inspiration.
- When: Weekend of Feb. 14
- Where: theWit Chicago, 201 N. State St., Chicago. 312-467-0200
- Cost: $199-$279 per night
Getting bit by the love bug can be like dunking your head in icy water-or so we can only imagine. If you want to know what it's like to take the plunge, take the Detroit Polar Plunge.
- When: 9:30 a.m., Feb. 15
- Where: Registration begins at 9:30 a.m. at Renaissance Center, 100 W. Renaissance, Detroit; plunge begins at 11 a.m. at Milliken State Park, 1900 Atwater St., Detroit. 734-476-0701
- Cost: Must raise at least $75 to take the plunge
Single people need to eat on Valentine's Day too! And Hamtramck's (revolver) is the only place you can come single and leave with a group of new friends.
The communal dining space offers a five-course prix fixe meal prepared by guest chef Kate Williams. Bringing your favorite wine or champagne is encouraged.
- When: 6:30 and 11:30 p.m., Feb. 14
- Where: (revolver), 9737 Joseph Campau St., Hamtramck. 313-757-3093 or revolverHamtramck@gmail.com.
- Cost: $55
Don't wonder if you are missing your chance at love; ask local spiritual counselor Gail Embery.
Embery is a licensed counselor and an esteemed clairvoyance medium. And no, she does not worship the devil. "I used to feel the same way coming out of my Christian background," says Embery. "I don't try to convince people to embrace it. The people that need me and my guidance will come to me."
Even if you are not interested in clairvoyance, Embery is the perfect lady to talk to if you are having some doubts about relationships in your life.
- Where: Gail is available by phone or by meeting. 313-655-7694 or Gail@ReadingsWithGail.com.
- Cost: $60/30 minutes; $90/hour
If all else fails, take pictures of heart-shaped pizzas and pies, stuffed bears and get close with a stranger for a smiley photo op. It may seem a little desperate. But none of your Facebook friends will ever know. So Happy Valentine's Day to you!