It’s True: Sex Is Better After 50

Judging from Instagram and TikTok, you’d think sex was only for 20 and 30-somethings when in reality, there is nothing that is further from the truth. Sex at midlife and beyond is a topic often draped in confusion and misinformation; we at BLAC are here to dissolve some common myths about sex after 50.

There’s a belief that, as we age, our sex lives becomes less exciting or we go without sex altogether. A study is debunking that stereotype by proving that things really do get better after—like way better. Lumen, a dating app designed for singles over 50, recently interviewed over 2,000 sexually active people ages 50 to 80 in the United States and asked everything from how often they have sex to what their favorite sex position is, the questions go deep into what sex is like as you age.

Sexual Adventure

People between ages 50 and 80 have sex twice a month on average, the survey found. While 37% reported not having sex anymore these days, 27% said they have sex at least once a month if not more. If you’ve ever worried about your sex life getting dull as you age, take in this good news: 22% of people reported they have become more adventurous in their sex life as they’ve gotten older, and 8% of people have become much more adventurous.

And these aren’t quick romps in the sack by any means. On average, respondents reported that a sex session often lasts 24 minutes. (Let’s be honest: That’s longer than a lot of younger people go for.) Funny enough, 24% of people actually credited having a better sex life to the fact that they have more free time now. Now that’s what retirement is really for.

Myth:

Beyond a certain age, people have little interest in sex.

Fact:

There is no age limit on sexuality, but for people age 50 and over, sexual satisfaction depends more on the overall quality of the relationship than it does for younger couples. According to a University of Michigan National Poll on Healthy Aging, surveying adults 65-80, nearly three in four older adults (73%) indicated they were satisfied with their sex life. (Plus, research reveals that having sex at least once a week can help you live longer.)

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Myth:

As a man ages, he loses his ability to get an erection.

Fact:

Aging itself is not a cause of erectile dysfunction. However, diminishing hormone levels do precipitate some changes. A man may need more physical stimulation to become aroused, and his erection may not be quite as firm as when he was younger—but sex is no less pleasurable.

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Myth:

Emotional and psychological factors are responsible for a woman’s lack of interest in sex at midlife and beyond.

Fact:

Physical factors can play an even larger role. According to the North American Menopause Society, hormonal changes at menopause can affect a woman’s sexual response. Low estrogen levels can result in vaginal dryness, causing discomfort during sex. And in some women, lower testosterone levels can mean a lack of energy and a weaker sex drive. Other women find their interest in sex increases after menopause, due, in part, to a shift in the ratio of testosterone to estrogen and progesterone. Here are 12 ways sex is different after menopause.

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Myth:

Masturbation diminishes your ability to enjoy sex with a partner.

Fact:

Masturbation can increase sexual pleasure, both with and without a partner. For women, it helps keep vaginal tissues moist and elastic and boosts hormone levels, which fuels sex drive, says the National Women’s Health Network. For men, it helps maintain erectile response. Find out to improve your sex life in just one day.

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Myth:

A man’s inability to get an erection is most likely the result of an emotional problem.

Fact:

Actually, physical causes—such as circulation problems, prostate disorders, and side effects associated with prescription medications—account for most erectile difficulties. The are prescription remedies as well: sildenafil, vardenafil and others. Don’t miss these 31 natural libido boosters.

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Myth:

Couples at midlife and beyond who don’t have regular sex have lost interest in sex or in each other.

Fact:

When older couples don’t have regular sex, it’s often because one partner has an illness or disability. (Here are 9 ways your body changes if you stop having sex.)

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Of course, it’s true that sex isn’t going to stay exactly the same as you age. But the changes that take place aren’t all negative. Once a woman is past menopause and no longer concerned about pregnancy, many couples find it easier to relax and look forward to lovemaking. And partners who are retired or working only part-time often have more time and energy for each other, for making love as well as pursuing other shared activities.

By midlife, you know your own body and your partner’s intimately, and, hopefully, you’ve figured out how to communicate what you find pleasurable. It’s likely that you’ve shed any sexual inhibitions, and your sexual confidence and experience probably result in better sex for both of you. Just as important, sex may be more emotionally fulfilling because now it is driven less by hormones and more by the desire to share yourself with someone who loves you. Sex after age 65 may take place less often, but many find it becomes more gratifying than ever.